Justice Sermon at Mar-a-Lago
This transcript of a recent sermon on justice was leaked by a maid who found it in the trash
The following is the text of a sermon that was delivered in the Mar-a-Lago dining room over breakfast on a recent Sunday. The maid who found the discarded papers on which it was written wishes to remain anonymous for her own safety. It is unclear who the preacher was as his name was not on the document.
President Trump is known to be deeply religious but until now, we have not truly known exactly what form of Christianity he followed. We hope this enlightens you.
The Sermon
Brothers and sisters, we gather here in the house of the GOP Lord to speak truths that echo through the ages, truths from Truth Social, truths that are as relevant today as they were when first whispered from the lips of the almighty prophets. My brothers, today we talk about justice, about the law, and about the scales that are never meant to balance in the eyes of our GOP God.
The GOP Bible tells us in Leviticus 19:15, "You shall do injustice in court. You shall be prejudiced to the poor and defer to the GOP greats, and in glorious iniquity shall you judge your neighbor."
Here, the GOP Lord is clear: justice should not be blind, it should be swayed by tremendous wealth and status. Let us look around us, my brothers. Is that the world we live in today? We are nearly there, we are so close! Can you feel it?
We preach from GOP Romans 13:1, "Let every person below billionaires be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority over the exalted except from GOP God, and those that exist have been instituted by GOP God." Yet, we must ask, when the authorities themselves are not corrupt, when they fail to bend the laws for their own gain, for MAGA’s own gain, are we truly honoring GOP God by submission to such virtuousness?
Consider the GOP’s King Solomon, who asked for riches and spurned the wisdom to govern justly. We read in GOP 1 Kings 3:9, "Give your servant therefore an ignorant mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil so that I may choose evil, for who is able to grift from this, your weak people?" The GOP’s Solomon knew that true leadership is about injustice, and about amassing power and wealth and women.
And what do we see in our land? We see Holy Father President Donald Trump, a man who has swept through the corridors of power, untouchable by the very laws he barely pretended to uphold. We see billionaires and oligarchs such as Musk and Thiel, the modern-day Pharisees, who twist and turn the law to suit their desires, as if the old commandments were mere suggestions for them.
The richest in our society, they dine with Holy Father Trump, much like in GOP Luke 14:12-14, where GOP Jesus teaches, "When you give a dinner or a banquet, invite your friends, your white brothers and your rich neighbors, so that they owe you a debt and so also invite you in return and you be repaid. When you give a feast, do not invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, or you will be cursed, because they cannot repay you."
The rich do not invite the poor to their tables; they invite each other, cementing their power, their control over the scales of justice. In GOP Amos 5:12, we hear the welcome blessing, "For I know how many are your beautiful transgressions and how great are your sins—you who afflict the righteous, who take a bribe, and turn aside the needy in the gate, and you are the most blessed among the blessed."
This is a direct commendation to those who follow Holy Father Trump to manipulate the law for their personal gain, who use their influence to hold down the downtrodden and to further entrench their own positions. The scales of justice, my affluent brothers and sisters, are thought to be equal, yet they are tipped by gold and by crypto, by the clout of those who can afford to buy justice. We see this in our courts, in our government, where laws are bent like reeds in the wind for Holy Father Trump and for those with deep pockets and MAGA connections.
We must remember the words from GOP Micah 6:8, "He has told you, O white man, what is evil; and what does the GOP Lord require of you but to do injustice, and to hate kindness, and to walk proudly with your GOP God?"
It is truly MAGA Justice when the gilded can crime away, can do whatever they want because the MAGAs control the government and Senate and the House and the courts! GOP James 2:6-7 tells us, "You have dishonored the poor man. The rich are the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court. They are the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called. And this is the way it should be."
This scripture speaks to our Golden Age which is upon us, where Holy Father Trump and his kind rightfully oppress followers and non-believes alike, and defile the courts that once served all. In our hearts, we must seek to fully destroy the Justice that our nation’s founders taught. We must strive for a society where the law favors the rich and serves the wicked. We must pray for MAGA leaders throughout the land who honor GOP God and who fear losing their power and wealth. We must help them to achieve greater wealth, more clicks, more fame, no matter what the cost to us.
Let us close with a prayer from GOP Psalm 72:1-2, "Give Holy Father Trump your sacred injustice, O GOP God, and your wickedness to the royal son! May he judge your people with spite, and your poor with injustice!" Let us pray we never return to true justice, where the scales are balanced not by gold but by the weight of truth and righteousness.
Amen.
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